Redefining Financial Success: What It Really Means to Be 'Good With Money'
- Elsie loveandfinance
- Jul 11
- 4 min read
When you hear the phrase “good with money,” what do you picture?
Maybe it's someone who owns property, uses investing apps, never overspends, and tracks every expense in a color-coded spreadsheet.
That version of financial success might work for some, but it isn’t the only one. And it certainly isn’t the standard you have to hold yourself to.
The truth is, many of us were never taught how to feel confident with money. We were taught to chase milestones, often without space to define what financial peace or freedom means to us.
Let’s change that.
In this post, we’ll explore how to define financial success in a way that’s rooted in clarity, values, and self-leadership, not pressure or perfection.
This is not about creating a financial plan or setting investment targets. It is about how you relate to money, how you think about it, and how you show up for it.
The Pressure to Perform
For many women, the unspoken rules about money sound like this:
You should be debt-free by a certain age
You should own something by now
You should have it all figured out
Those “shoulds” are exhausting. They often ignore lived realities like career changes, caretaking responsibilities, burnout, trauma, or simply choosing a different lifestyle.
They also create unnecessary pressure that keeps you in comparison instead of in connection with your actual goals.
Financial success isn’t a race. It isn’t about checking off someone else’s list.
A Coaching-Based Definition of “Good With Money”
When I work with clients, I offer this perspective:
Being good with money means making intentional, self-aware decisions that support the life you want to create, consistently and compassionately.
Let’s break that down through a coaching lens.
1. Clarity Over Control
You don’t need perfect systems to feel financially grounded. But you do need clarity.
This could mean:
Knowing what’s currently working in your money life
Gaining insight into your habits and patterns
Creating space to reflect on your relationship with money
Clarity is about understanding, not fixing everything. You can’t shift what you don’t see. A coaching practice starts by helping you see clearly without judgment.
2. Progress Over Perfection
There’s a big difference between making progress and performing.
Being good with money doesn’t mean never making a mistake or always sticking to a budget. It means learning to navigate your finances in real time, with the tools and mindset you have today.
Progress might look like:
Checking in with your spending without anxiety
Setting a boundary you used to avoid
Saying no to a purchase that doesn’t align with your values
Money coaching supports you in identifying these small but meaningful wins and building momentum over time.
3. Self-Respect Over Self-Criticism
You don’t have to be hard on yourself to make changes.
In fact, most people grow faster when they’re kind to themselves. When you meet yourself with compassion, you open the door to curiosity, and curiosity leads to transformation.
In coaching sessions, we often explore questions like:
Where is guilt or shame showing up around money
What does your inner voice say when you make a financial decision
What does financial self-respect feel like to you
This isn’t about blame. It is about building trust with yourself, one choice at a time.
4. Alignment Over Expectation
Financial advice is often built around universal rules and long-term projections. Money coaching, on the other hand, focuses on helping you stay connected to your own definition of success.
What does that mean practically?
It means recognizing that your version of enough might not look like anyone else’s. That your values, priorities, and vision deserve to guide your money habits.
Coaching helps you ask:
What does a fulfilling, sustainable lifestyle look like for me
How does money support or challenge that right now
What do I want to change or strengthen
These questions are not about strategy. They are about clarity and agency.
5. Agency Over Approval
There is no right way to handle your money. There is only the way that aligns with who you are and what you want to build.
Agency means making choices with intention, not waiting for validation. It means noticing when you're outsourcing your decisions to social expectations and choosing to come back to your own voice.
In coaching, we don’t tell you what to do. We help you uncover what matters most so you can lead yourself with more confidence.
Redefining Financial Success: A Self-Reflection
If you want to start shifting your own definition of success, try reflecting on the following prompts. These are coaching-based, not goal-setting exercises:
What stories about money and success did I grow up with
Which of those still serve me, and which ones feel outdated
When have I felt most confident or clear with money
What kind of relationship with money would feel grounding and supportive
What does success feel like to me emotionally or energetically
There are no wrong answers, only deeper understanding.
Final Thoughts
You do not need a perfect track record to be good with money. You don’t need to reach a specific income level, own property, or follow a textbook budget.
What you do need is the willingness to get curious, take small steps, and lead yourself with honesty.
Money coaching exists to support that process. It’s not about making financial plans or giving recommendations. It’s about helping you reconnect to your inner compass, identify what matters, and take action from a place of self-trust.
You are already capable. Your definition of success is valid. And you get to write it in your own words.
Interested in exploring this with supportAt Love & Money, I offer coaching for women who want to redefine their relationship with money through clarity, self-awareness, and confidence. No pressure, no jargon, and no judgment. Just honest reflection and sustainable progress.
Let’s build your version of financial success, one clear step at a time.
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